For most couples, the idea of sleeping together every night shows major commitment to their relationship. With anything new, however, this can carry challenges, both expected and unexpected. When armed with knowledge and good tips, both partners can enjoy a great night’s rest without interfering with one another.
Whether you are in a new relationship and you’re sharing the bed for the first time, or you have been sharing a bed for years, we’ll cover multiple tips for sleeping with your partner that ensures both parties can wake up refreshed and ready to go each morning.
“I’m new to this”
For anyone who is new to relationships, the idea of sharing a bed with someone else can feel daunting and intimidating. When you’re ready to share the bed with someone, you should make sure you get in sync with your sleep schedules. While going to bed together at the same time each night would be the most ideal method, life has taught us that this might not be possible, especially if each partner has different sleep habits or schedules.
If you can’t get completely in sync with your partner, you should make every effort to compromise with your partner to go to bed together a few nights each week. Doing so can give both partners more opportunities to bond together without impeding on sleep quality.
Another key factor you need to consider when deciding to share a bed with your partner is to make sure you have the right sized mattress. If you have anything smaller than a full mattress, you really need to consider moving up to a larger mattress. Most couples prefer a queen or king since they offer more room. You can also look at mattresses that have different firmness on each side if each partner has a vastly different preferred firmness, but be ready to spend more than a traditional mattress.
Getting into position
Regardless of if you’re new to sharing a bed with your partner or have been doing so for years, finding a sleep position that is comfortable for both parties can be tricky. Different sleeping positions for couples could also indicate how each partner feels in the relationship. Let’s break down some of the most common positions couples use.
If you are looking to have physical connections with your partner while in bed, while also having some of your own space, sleeping back-to-back may be the answer for you. Couples can either sleep close to one another, having their bottoms and/or feet touch for human contact, or further apart where there’s no physical contact. Surveys have shown that this position is the most common among couples.
Since both partners are on their sides, this can help prevent snoring as well. And since each partner is separated, they can place their hands in any position they feel most comfortable.
Spooning is known as an intimate and comforting position that offers emotional support for a partner. The “big spoon” is protective of the “little spoon”, which helps create a trusting feeling. Health wise, spooning is seen as a good position for both partners, as it not only helps keep pressure off the back, it can release hormones that make you feel good, along with preventing snoring.
On the chest/shoulder
In terms of being romantic, sleeping on the chest/shoulder indicates that each partner has considered the other as part of the team. It indicates that each partner trusts one another, and that the romance of the relationship still exists. As you would expect, though, these positions are far from being the most comfortable for both partners. Since each partner is pressing on one another’s joints, both partners may wake up sore the next morning.
For couples who want to show passion and love while having the freedom to choose which sleeping position works best for them, the leg hug may be your best bet. Having the legs hugged lets each partner know that the other is looking for some kind of emotional connection without having to be so close to one another. And because each partner can choose their own sleep position, the chances both partners wake up refreshed is higher.
Resolve snoring together
Without a doubt, dealing with a snoring partner can be a real headache! Not only is the sound incredibly annoying, it can also significantly interfere with the other partner’s ability to sleep. Fortunately, both parties can work together to find solutions to the problem.
Observation and talking to your partner
If you are the one who has to deal with the snoring overnight, the first thing you need to do is tell your partner about the problem. Let them know their snoring overnight is an issue for you. If your partner doesn’t know that their snoring is an issue, they won’t make the changes necessary to solve the problem.
If your partner’s snoring has changed, make sure you observe things about your partner. Doing so may help identify the root cause(s) of the change(s). Make sure to make mental notes about changes in either behavior or health (or both).
Working together to change lifestyle
If changes in your partner’s lifestyle is required to stop the snoring, make an effort to help them with these changes. Doing so not only helps possibly stop the snoring, but it can also be beneficial to the relationship. If weight loss is necessary, exercise with your partner and plan healthier meals together.
Mouth exercises, however weird and silly they seem, have been shown to work. Doing these exercises with your partner makes it not feel as awkward to them! Here are some exercises you can both try:
- Tongue curls: Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, and slide the tongue back as far as it’ll go. Repeat 20 times.
- Speak out each vowel out loud for three minutes. Repeat this a few times a day.
- Move your jaw to the right with your mouth open and hold this position for 30 seconds. Repeat on the left.
- Close your mouth and purse your lips together, holding for 30 seconds.
- Try singing! Singing increases muscle control in the throat, which reduces snoring caused by lax muscles.
Use side sleeping positions
If your partner is a back sleeper, you will want to try to get them to start sleeping on their side. Back sleepers are the most susceptible to snoring. If you can, use the back to back couple sleeping position we mentioned earlier. When using this position, make sure you are sleeping side to side. By doing so, it can make it harder for your partner to turn to sleep on their back. Just make sure you don’t leave too big a gap between the both of you.
Dealing with the blanket hog
Chances are you’ve heard jokes and seen memes about blanket hogs. You know, where one partner somehow seems to have ALL the blankets to keep warm, while the other is left to be cold? While we laugh when it doesn’t affect us, it can be downright annoying when we have to deal with it! Luckily, there are some solutions to the blanket hog problem.
First, make sure to talk with the culprit in the morning or before bed. Remember, if your partner takes the sheets while they are sleeping, they likely won’t realize what they did. Speaking with them not only can actively bring the issue to their attention, it can help lead to changes in behavior. If they keep taking the sheets during the night, don’t be afraid to wake them up and tell them. Just be careful on how you approach them.
If talking it out doesn’t seem to resolve the problem, fret not! There are still some things you can do to prevent one partner taking all the blankets. If possible, you can try using a larger blanket. You can also try smaller, separate blankets for each partner, so one partner won’t freeze overnight.
If you can’t (or rather not) get new/additional blankets, you can try tucking the blankets into your bed along with your sheets. While it can’t fully prevent the blankets from being hogged, it can make it a little more difficult. If you want to kick it up a notch, you can actually buy a clamp specifically made for keeping the blankets on both sides of the bed!